Snail Tracks

Q: Why did God give women legs?
A: So that they wouldn't leave tracks like snails!

Lifestyle Acronyms

Some people are sitting in a bar when one guy says, "My name is Larry, and I'm a SNAG." Another guy says, "What's that?" The first guy says, "That means I'm a Single, New Age Guy." Another one says, "My name is Gary, and I'm a DINK. A girl asks, "What's that?" He says, "That means I'm a Double Income, No Kids." A lady says, "That's nice. My name is Gertrude, and I'm a WIFE." Larry says, "A WIFE? What's a WIFE?" She says, "That means, "Wash, Iron, Fuck, Etc."

Dumb Enough To Love

"God," said Adam, "Why did you make Eve so beautiful?" "So you would love her." "But why did you make her so dumb?" "So she would love you."