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The best jokes and joke writers!

No Brakes

Did you ever hear about Blitzen the brown nosed reindeer? He is twice as fast as Rudolf but doesn't stop as quick!

Office Woes

Couldn't believe all the shit on my desk this morning.

My co-workers really don't like me.

Business One Liners

  • If you are asked to join a parade, don't march behind the elephants.
  • If you are coasting, you're going downhill.
  • If you are feeling good, don't worry. You'll get over it.
  • If you are given two contradictory orders, obey them both.
  • If you are not the lead dog, the scenery never changes.
  • If you are running for a short line, it suddenly becomes a long line.
  • If you are worried about being crazy, don't be overly concerned. If you were, you would think you were sane.
  • If you can smile when things go wrong, you must have someone to blame.
  • If you cannot convince them, confuse them. 
  • If you cannot dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with lies.

Light Bulb - Sales Director

Q: How many sales directors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: (pause) I get it! This is one of those light bulb jokes, right?

Wife vs Job

Q: What's the difference between your wife and your job?

A: After five years your job will still suck.