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Restroom Wall Graffiti
You can learn a lot from reading the graffiti in a bathroom, library or other public area...
The best way to a man's heart is to saw his breast plate open.
Women's rest room, Champaign, Ill. If you voted for Clinton in the last election, you can't take a dump here - Your asshole is in Washington!
Men's rest room, Outback Steakhouse, Tacoma, Wash. Beauty is only a light switch away.
Perkins Library, Duke University, Durham, N.C. If life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life, then let's all get wasted and have the time of our lives.
Armand's Pizza, Washington, D.C. Remember, it's not "How high are you?", it's "Hi, how are you?"
The Irish Times, Washington, D.C. Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
The Bayou, Baton Rouge, La. No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her crap.
Men's rest room, Linda's Bar and Grill, Chapel Hill, N.C. It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
Written in the dust on the back of a bus, Wickenburg, Ariz. A woman's rule of thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you're going to have trouble with it.
Women's rest room, Dick's Last Resort, Dallas, Tex. Watch out for gay limbo dancers..
Inside toilet stall door, men's rest room. Express Lane: Five beers or less.
Sign over one of the urinals, Ed Debevic's, Phoenix, Ariz. You're too good for him.
Sign over mirror in women's rest room, Ed Debevic's, Beverly Hills, CA. No wonder you always go home alone..
Sign over mirror in men's rest room, Ed Debevic's,Beverly Hills, CA. What are you looking up on the wall for? The joke is in your hands.
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Back In The Closet
A young gay man calls home and tells his Jewish mother that he has decided to go back into the closet because he has met a wonderful girl and they are going to be married. He tells his mother that he is sure she will be happier since he knows that his gay lifestyle has been very disturbing to her. She responds that she is indeed delighted and asks tentatively, "I suppose it would be too much to hope that she would be Jewish?" He tells her that not only is the girl Jewish, but she’s from a wealthy Beverly Hills family. She admits she is overwhelmed by the news, and asks, "What is her name?" He answers, "Monica Lewinsky." There is a pause, then his mother asks, "What happened to that nice black boy you were dating last year?"
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Jungle Gaiety
Q: What do you call a sex-crazed gay cannibal?
A: A head hunter!
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