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Sex Jokes
Split Bar
A guy walks into a bar. He's a rather large, menacing chap. He chugs back a beer and says, "All the guys on this side of the bar are cocksuckers! Anyone got a problem with that?" Everyone is understandably silent. He then, chugs back another beer and says, "All the guys on the other side of the bar are motherfuckers! Anyone got a problem with that?" Everyone is silent, again. Then one man gets up from his stool and starts to walk toward the man. The man seated asks, "You got a problem, buddy?" He replied, "No, I'm just on the wrong side of the bar!"
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Once Upon A Time In An Elavator
A guy steps into an elevator and there's just one attractive woman in it. He turns around to push the button for his floor and his elbow bumps right into her breast. He says, "Oh, I'm so sorry. If your heart is as soft as your breast, I hope you'll be able to forgive me." She looks at him a few seconds and says, "That's all right. If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 204."
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Sad Revelations
A father asked his 10 year old son if he knew about the birds and the bees. "I don't want to know!" the child said, bursting into tears. "Promise me you won't tell me." Confused, the father asked what was wrong. "Oh dad," the boy sobbed, "when I was 6, I got the there's no Santa speech. At 7, I got the there's no Easter Bunny speech. When I was 8, you hit me with the there's no Tooth Fairy speech. If you tell me that grown-ups don't really fuck, I'll have nothing left to live for."
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