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Sex Jokes
The Good Wife
After the annual office Labor Day party blowout, John woke up with a pounding headache, cotton-mouth, and utterly unable to recall the events of the preceding evening. After a trip to the bathroom, he was able to make his way downstairs, where his wife put some coffee in front of him. "Louise," he moaned, "Tell me what went on last night. Was it as bad as I think?"
"Even worse," she assured him, voice dripping with scorn. "You made a complete ass of yourself, succeeded in antagonizing the entire board of directors, and insulted the President of the company to his face."
"He's an asshole - piss on him!"
"You did," Louise informed him. "And he fired you."
"Well, screw him!" said John.
"I did. You're back at work on Monday!"
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Blonde Mother-to-Be
The young blonde bride made her first appointment with a gynecologist and told him that she and her husband wished to start a family. "We've been trying for months now, doctor, and I don't seem to be able to get pregnant," she confessed miserably. "I'm sure we´ll solve your problem," the doctor reassured her. "If you'll just take off your clothes and get up on the examining table." "Well, all right, doctor," agreed the young woman, blushing, "but I'd rather have my husband's baby.
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The Show
A man walks into a brothel. He walks up to the proprietor and says: "What can I get for ten dollars?" The proprietor says: "Go up the stairs, first room on the right."
The man walks into the room and sits on the bed, he notices a small door at the bottom of one of the walls. The door opens up, and a chicken comes walking out. The man has his way with the chicken. The man comes back the next day and says to the proprietor: "I didn't really like that, and I'd like a refund."
The proprietor says: "Oh, good sir, trust me. Go up the stairs, but this time go into the first room on the left, and you won't want your ten dollars back."
So the man goes into the room, and this room is much larger than the other, with theatre-type seating, and a big curtain on one side. A few people are scattered throughout the seats, and the man sits down. The curtain opens up, and it's actually large flat screen TV and what appears to be a live camera feed of an orgy. The man leans over to a guy sitting next to him and says: "Man, this is something, huh?" The other guy says: "You should have been here yesterday. Some guy was fucking a chicken."
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