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Sex Jokes
Practice makes Perfect
My Lesbian neighbors Jill and Julie, who are both teachers, asked me to help them conceive a child.
They said they wouldn't mind if we did it the old-fashioned way as they weren't man-haters.
For six months now we've been trying but I just don't have the heart to tell them that I had a vasectomy last year.
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Salad
Boss asks secretary "Do you know what the difference is between a Caesar Salad and a blowjob?" "No", says the secretary. "Great, let's do lunch." the boss says.
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Calling in Sick
Bob calls in to his job: "Hey, boss I'm not coming to work today. I'm really sick. I got a headache, stomach ache, and my legs hurt, so I'm not coming into work." The boss says: "You know Bob, I really need you today. When I feel like this, I go to my wife, and tell her to give me sex. That makes me feel better, and I can go to work. You should try that." Two hours later Bob calls: "Boss, I did what you said, and I feel great! I'll be at work soon. By the way, you've got a nice house!"
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