Light Bulb - Academics

Q: How many academics does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. That's what research students are for.

Harry Potter Do-Over

Q: Why did Harry Potter have to repeat his first year at Hogwarts School of Wizardry and Witchcraft?
A: Because he couldn't spell.

Jewish Student at Catholic School

A Jewish student was doing well in school in all subjects except for Math. So his parents decide to send him to a private Catholic school. While there the boy came home from school and studied every day. At the end of the marking period the boy got straight A's. So his parents ask him, "What motivated you to do so well in school?" He replied, "When I saw that guy nailed to a plus sign I knew they weren't fooling around!"