Auburn Student's Holiday Break

An Auburn student spent a holiday in New Mexico with Native Americans who told him the Legend of the Maidens. The tale went this way: "There are beautiful maidens who live in the cracks and crevices in this valley. If you hear them call, 'Woo Woo,' take off your clothes quickly and enter the cave. They will show you a fabulous time!" Several days later, the headlines in the local newspaper read: "Body of Naked Auburn Student found in Tunnel, Run Over by Train."

Math Problems

Young Larry stopped by the corner grocery store and read the following list to the clerk: 10 pounds sugar at $1.25 a pound 4 pounds coffee at $1.50 a pound 2 pounds butter at $1.10 a pound 2 bars soap at $.83 each "How much does that come to?" asked Larry. "Twenty-two dollars and thirty-six cents." "If I gave you three ten dollar bills, how much change would I get?" said the boy. "Seven dollars and sixty-four cents," stated the clerk who appeared to be irritated by all the questions. Larry said, as he disappeared through the door, "I don't want to buy the items... that's our arithmetic lesson for tomorrow, and I needed some help with it." 

Wolverine Parking Only

Q: Why do University of Michigan graduates hang their diplomas from their rear view mirrors?
A: So they can use handicapped parking.