Wolverine Parking Only

Q: Why do University of Michigan graduates hang their diplomas from their rear view mirrors?
A: So they can use handicapped parking.

West Coast Colleges to Change Light Bulb

Q: How many Austinites/Berkeleyites/Boulderites does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Five. One to change the bulb and four to talk about how much better it was in the Sixties.

Abbey Lane

A boy came into class late one day and his teacher asked him why he was late. The boy replied "Sorry sir, I was doing push-ups on Abbey Lane." The teacher excused him and he sat down.
Five minutes later, another boy came in and the teacher asked him why he was late. He replied, "Sorry I'm late, I was doing push-ups on Abbey Lane."
Another five minutes later, a girl walks into class, late. The teacher says "I suppose you were doing push-ups on Abbey Lane too." The girl replied, "No sir, I am Abbey Lane."