Harvard University Visit

A high school senior was inspecting Harvard University, where he hoped to attend the following autumn. As he was walking across the Quad, he stopped a distinguished-looking man and asked, "Sir, can you please tell me where your library is at?"
The man looked down his nose and replied, "Son, I'm head of the English department, and I can assure you we don't end our sentences with prepositions. Re-cast your sentence in a proper form and I will reply."
"Can you tell me where your library is at, ass-hole?"

Sex Stimulus Lecture

A college psychology class was studying human reaction to sexual stimulus and of special interest was the frequency of amorous relations. ''How many students here,'' said the professor, ''engage more than once a week?'' Five people raised their hands. ''And how many engage once a week?''
Ten hands went up. ''How many twice a month?'' Eight hands went up. ''Once a month?" Four hands were raised. ''And how may once a year?'' A little guy in the back waved his hand frantically and giggled hysterically. ''If you engage only once a year,'' said the professor, ''I don't see what you're so overjoyed about.'' Flush with excitement, the little guy said, ''Yeah, but tonight's the night!''

Prom Booty Call

Hurry up, I only have the limo for 10 more minutes.