God's Creation

Q: What is the best thing God ever created?
A: The vagina.
Q What was the worst thing God ever did?
A Put women in charge of them.

Red Phone

A visitor to the vatican met with the Pope and noticed a red phone sitting on his desk. "What's that for?", he asked. "Oh, that's the direct line to the Lord" said the Pope. The visitor said, "Wow, how much is a call?" The Pope answered, "$2,000 per minute." A few days later the same visitor met the Israeli Prime Minister and noticed a red phone on his desk. "What's that for?", he asked. "Oh, that's the direct line to the Lord" said the Prime Minister. The visitor asked "How much is a call?" The Prime Minister said "20 cents per minute." The astonished visitor said, "It can't be. I just saw the Pope who said a call to the Lord is $2,000 per minute." The Prime Minister answered, "That was long distance, here the Lord is just a local call."

Definition of God

A little boy was learning about God in his church, and he was talking to his mother about it. She, not wanting to place prejudice in the little boy's mind, sat him and said: "God is not a man or a woman, and God is not black or white."
To which the child responded, "Well, then is God Michael Jackson?"