Word Play Jokes - Private Parts

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Family Vocabulary Lesson

A little boy came home from school one day and told his mother, ''Mom, today I heard some older kids using some words I don't know the meaning of. Can you tell me what they mean?'' ''Sure,'' his mother said. ''Just tell me what they are.'' The little boy replied, ''Pussy and bitch.'' His mother said, ''No problem. A pussy is a cat, like the neighbor's Tabby, and a bitch is a female dog, like our Sandy.'' The boy thanked his mother, and then went out to the garage, where his father was working. ''Dad,'' he began, ''today I heard some kids using some words that I don't know the meaning of. I asked Mom, but I don't think that she gave me the right answer. Can you help me?'' ''Sure,'' his father replied. ''What are the words?'' ''Pussy and bitch,'' the boy replied. His father said, ''I thought I told you anytime you have a question like that, you were supposed to ask me, and not your mother, because she can't handle it.'' With that, he reached up on a shelf and pulled down an edition of Playboy magazine, and a magic marker. He then took the marker, and drew a circle around the woman's genital area. ''Son,'' he began, ''everything inside this circle is a pussy.'' ''Okay,'' his son said, ''but what is a bitch?'' His father said, ''Everything outside this circle.''

Categories: Sex Jokes (Private Parts) , Sexist Jokes (About Women) , Word Play Jokes , Jokes about Families (Son Jokes)
Anonymous

Matador Special

A man on a business trip in Mexico decides to take in a bull fight. After the event, he stops in to the little dive next to the venue called "The Matador." As he checks out the menu trying to decide what he wants, he sees a waiter bring a dish to another customer. The dish is spaghetti with these two huge meat balls. When the waiter comes to his table, he inquires.
"That," replies the waiter, "is Spaghetti and Bull Testicles. We get them after the bull fight. It is exquisite!"
"That's what I'll have!" says the businessman.
"I'm very sorry senor, but that dish is only available once per day." Disappointed, the man orders another dish and plans to try again the next day. So again, the next day he goes to the bull fights, and afterwards stops into the dive. Just as the waiter is coming to his table, he sees another waiter bringing the dish to another customer who was there before him.
"Damn!" he says to himself. "And tomorrow's my last day here."
So the next day, he skips the bull fight, and stands in line at the cafe. He is the first one seated, and proudly proclaims, "I'll have the Spaghetti and Bull Testicles!"
"Very well, senor!" responds the waiter. Soon afterwards, the waiter brings out his dish, but the meat balls are disappointingly small. Very small, as a matter of fact.
"What's with this!" the now angry man shouts.
"I'm very sorry, senor" said the waiter, "but the bull does not always lose!"

Categories: Sex Jokes (Private Parts) , Dark Humor Jokes (Death Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

China Trip

An American tourist goes on a trip to China. While in China, he is very sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom.
A week after arriving back home, he awakes one morning to find his penis covered with bright green and purple spots. Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor. The doctor, never having seen anything like this before, orders some tests and tells the man to return in two days for the results.
The man returns a couple of days later and the doctor says, “I’ve got bad news for you. You’ve contracted Mongolian VD. It’s very rare and almost unheard of here. We know very little about it.” The man looks a little perplexed and says, “Well, give me a shot or something and fix me up, doc.” The doctor answers, “I’m sorry, there’s no known cure. We’re going to have to amputate your penis.”
The man screams in horror, “Absolutely not! I want a second opinion!” The doctor replies, “Well, it’s your choice. Go ahead if you want, but surgery is your only option.”
The next day, the man seeks out a Chinese doctor, figuring that he’ll know more about the disease. The Chinese doctor examines his penis and proclaims, “Ah, yes, Mongolian VD. Very rare disease.”
The guy says to the doctor: “Yeah, yeah, I already know that, but what we can do? My American doctor wants to operate and amputate my penis!” The Chinese doctor shakes his head and laughs, “Stupid American doctors, they always want to operate. Make more money that way. No need to operate”
“Oh, Thank God!,” the man replies.
“Yes,” says the Chinese doctor, “You no worry! Wait two weeks... it fall off by itself."

Categories: Sex Jokes (Prostitute Jokes) , Ethnic / Country Jokes (Asian Jokes) , Racist Jokes (Asians Jokes) , Profession Jokes (Other Doctor Jokes) , Sex Jokes (Private Parts) , Disease / Afflictions Jokes (STD Jokes)
Anonymous
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