Country Club Membership

Moshe Rabbinowitz decides to join the country club near his home. He goes in and is turned down flat because he does not meet their "standards." So he enrolls in the finest schools to learn the art of being culturally rich. Moshe learns to cook the finest of foods, appreciate the best art, drive the best car, wear the classiest suits, etc. He even hires Professor Henry Higgins to educate him in the proper speech and behavior. The big day arrives. Martin James Roget arrives at the country club for his interview. "Tea?" the interviewer asks. "Earl Grey, hot please." "Hobbies?" "Polo, racket ball, hunting." "Religion?" "Goy."

Black White Red - Doesn't Fit

Q: What's black, white, red all over, and doesn't fit through revolving doors?
A: A nun with a spear through her head.

God's Gift

I was blessed with a 9-inch penis
Thank God the priest is now in jail.