A Prayer

Dear Heavenly Father,
I think you'd be proud of me! So far today I've done all right. I haven't gossiped, lusted, lost my temper, haven't been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish, or overindulgent. Praise Your Name! I'm grateful for Your grace...
But Lord, a few minutes from now, I'm getting out of bed. From then on I'm going to need a lot MORE of Your help!

Favorite Position

Q: What's a Jewish American Princess' favorite position?
A: Facing Bloomingdales

Three Nuns Catch the Priest

There were three nuns talking and one nun said, "I was cleaning the priest's chamber, and I found some Playboy magazines under his pillow, so I burned them." The nuns looked at each other and the next one said, "That's nothing, I found a box of condoms in his drawer, so I poked little holes in them with a nail." The third nun suddenly jumped out of her seat and said, "Oh my god! I got to go."