Relationship Jokes - Woman Criticizes Man

Nothing But The Truth

A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, their passions overcame them and they took off for her house, where they made passionate love all afternoon. Exhausted from the wild sex, they fell asleep, awakening around 8.00 p.m. As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes outside and rub them through the grass and dirt. Mystified, she nonetheless complied. He slipped into his shoes and drove home. Where have you been!" demanded his wife when he entered the house. "Darling, I can't lie to you. I've been having an affair with my secretary, and we've been having sex all afternoon. I fell asleep and didn't wake up until 8.00 p.m." The wife glanced down at his shoes and said, "You lying bastard! You've been playing golf!!"

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Who's Your Daddy

A teenage boy comes home and announces that he wants to marry the girl next door, Jane Jones. His father takes him aside and says, “I’m sorry , son, but years ago I was having an affair with Jane’s mother and I got her pregnant. You can’t marry her because she’s your half-sister.” A month later the son comes home and announces that he wants to marry a girl up the street, Sarah Smith. Again his father confesses that he once had an affair with Mrs . Smith, and that Sarah is in fact another half-sister. A month later the son announces his engagement to Amy Armstrong, but once more his father confesses that Amy is in fact another of his daughters. The son complains to his mother. “Dad’s driving me crazy,” he says. “Every time I fall in love with a girl it turns out she’s one of Dad’s daughters.” “Oh pay no attention to him,” says his mother. “It’s not like he’s your real father.”

Anonymous

The Good Wife Fetches All

Gena is such a good wife. Why, when her husband gets home late at night, as soon as he enters the door, he gets his pipe, slippers, pajamas, robe, book, and dinner.  And, if anything else is handy, she heaves that at him, too!

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous
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