Skin Them

A New Yorker married a southern gal and brought her to the big city for the first time. When they first arrived he got them a hotel room and as they were lying in bed she looked over in the corner and saw a discarded condom, "Oh yuck!!" she proclaimed as she pointed it to her new husband. As he craned his neck to see what it was he looked at her and asked "What they don't use those things where you come from?" "Yeah," she said "but we don't skin 'em!"

Why Girls Don't Fart

Q: Why don't little girls fart?
A: Because they don't have assholes until they're married.

Men Are Like 2

Men are like

• ...Place-mats. They only show up when there's food on the table.
• ...Mascara. They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
• ...Bike helmets. They're good in emergencies but usually just look silly.
• ...Government bonds. They take so long to mature.
• ...Copiers. You need them in reproduction but that's about it.
• ...Lava lamps. Fun to look at it but not all that bright.
• ...Bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.
• ...High heels. They're easy to walk on once you get the hang of it.
• ...Curling irons. They're always hot and always in your hair.
• ...Mini skirts. If your not careful they'll creep up your legs.
• ...Handguns. Keep one around long enough and your gonna want to shoot it.
• ...Floor tiles. Lay them right the first time and you can walk on them for a lifetime.
• ...Parking spots. The good ones are taken, and the rest are too small.
• ...Bananas. The older they get, the less firm they are.