The Dog or The Wife?

Q: If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
A: The Dog of course...at least he'll shut up after you let him in!

Cockroach Killing

My wife is too afraid of cockroaches. One fine day, I heard a scream from my wife. She saw a cockroach and was screaming. I asked her to take the killing spray and to spray it on the cockroach. She took the spray and turned to me and said, "This spray is only to kill mosquitos, and how can it work for the cockroach?" I said to her, "Don't show the label to the cockroach."

Cat's Sense of Direction

A man hated his wife's cat and he decided to get rid of it. He drove 20 blocks away from home and dropped the cat there. The cat was already walking up the driveway when he approached his home. The next day, he decided to drop the cat 40 blocks away but the same thing happened. He kept on increasing the number of blocks but the cat kept on coming home before him. At last he decided to drive a few miles away, turn right, then left, past the bridge, then right again and another right and so on until he reached what he thought was a perfect spot and dropped the cat there. Hours later, the man calls his wife at home and asked her, "Jen is the cat there?" "Yes, why do you ask?" answered the wife. Frustrated the man said, "Put that cat on the phone, I'm lost and I need directions."