Top 10 Things A Girl Won't Say

1) I'm bored. Let's shave my pussy!
2) Shouldn't you be out drinking with your friends?
3) Great fart!! Rip another one!
4) Pet names are silly. I just call it my c*nt.
5) You should see the shit I just birthed.
6) I'd rather play GTA5 than go shopping.
7) Let's start subscribing to Hustler.
8) Would you like to see a video of me going down on my friend?
9) I'll swallow it all. I love the taste of it!
10) Are you sure you've had enough to drink? I'm buying.

200 MPH

A young man was showing off his new sports car to his girlfriend. She was thrilled at the speed. "If I do 200mph, will you take off your clothes?" he asked. "Yes!" said his adventurous girlfriend. And as he gets up to 200, she peeled off all her clothes.Unable to keep his eyes on the road, the car skidded onto some gravel and flipped over. The naked girl was thrown clear, but he was jammed beneath the steering wheel.
"Go and get help!" he cried.
"But I can't. I'm naked and my clothes are gone!"
"Take my shoe", he said, "and cover yourself."
Holding the shoe over her pubes, the girl ran down the road and found a service station. Still holding the shoe between her legs, she pleaded to the service station proprietor, "Please help me! My boyfriend's stuck!"
The proprietor looked at the shoe and said, "There's nothing I can do...he's gone in too far."

Three Beautiful Daughters

A farmer had 3 beautiful daughters who were getting ready to go out on dates. The first beau came to the door and said, "I'm Eddie, I'm here to pick up Betty. We're going for spaghetti, is she ready?" "No." The second beau came to the door and said, "I'm Joe, I'm here to pick up Flo to take her to the show. Is she ready to go?" "No." The third beau came to the door and said to the farmer. "Hello, my name is Chuck." The farmer shot Chuck.