Marion Barry Quotes

Some of the finest quotes from the Honorable Marion Barry:

• "The contagious people of Washington have stood firm against diversity during this long period of increment weather."
• "I promise you a police car on every sidewalk."
• "If you take out the killings, Washington actually has a very very low crime rate."
• "First, it was not a strip bar, it was an erotic club. And second, what can I say? I'm a night owl."
• "I am clearly more popular than Reagan. I am in my third term. Where's Reagan? Gone after two! Defeated by George Bush and Michael Dukakis no less."
• "The laws in this city are clearly racist. All laws are racist. The law of gravity is racist."
• "I am making this trip to Africa because Washington is an international city, just like Tokyo, Nigeria, or Israel. As mayor, I am an international symbol. Can you deny that to Africa?"
• "People have criticized me because my security detail is larger than the president's. But you must ask yourself: are there more people who want to kill me than who want to kill the president? I can assure you there are."
• "The brave men who died in Vietnam, more than 100% of which were black, were the ultimate sacrifice."
• "I read a funny story about how the Republicans freed the slaves. The Republicans are the ones who created slavery by law in the 1600's. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves and he was not a Republican."
• "What right does Congress have to go around making laws just because they deem it necessary?"
• "People blame me because these water mains break, but I ask you, if the water mains didn't break, would it be my responsibility to fix them then? WOULD IT!?!"
• "I am a great mayor; I am an upstanding Christian man; I am an intelligent man; I am a deeply educated man; I am a humble man."

Saddam Hussein and Bill Clinton

Saddam Hussein calls President Clinton and tells him, "Bill, I had a wonderful dream last night. I could see America, the whole beautiful country, and on each house I saw a banner." "What did it say on the banners?" Clinton asks. Saddam replies, "Allah is god, god is Allah."
Clinton says, "You know, Saddam, I am really happy you called. Last night I had a similar dream. I could see all of Baghdad, and it was more beautiful than ever.  It had been rebuilt completely and on each house flew an enormous banner."  "What could you see on the banners?" Saddam asks. Clinton replies, "I don't know. I can't read Hebrew."

Bill Clinton Statue Committee

Bill Clinton Statue Committee 1040 Waffle Street Little Rock, Arkansas 72208
Dear Friend;

We have the distinguished honor of being on the committee for the raising of $5,000,000.00 for placing a statue of Bill Clinton in the Hall of Fame in Washington, D.C. This committee was in a quandary as to where to place the statue. It was not wise to place it beside the statue of George Washington, who never told a lie, nor beside Jesse Jackson, who never told the truth, since Bill Clinton could never tell the difference. We finally decided to place it beside Christopher Columbus, the greatest democrat of all. He left not knowing where he was going, did not know where he was, and returned not knowing where he had been. And he did it all on borrowed money. Over 3,000 years ago Moses said to the children of Israel, "Pick up your shovels, mount your asses and camels, and I will lead you to the promised land." Nearly 3,000 years later Roosevelt said, "Lay down your shovels, sit on your asses and light up a camel - this is the promised land." Now, Bill Clinton is going to steal your shovels, kick your asses, raise the price of camels and mortgage the promised land. If you are one of the fortunate people who has anything left after paying taxes, we expect a very generous contribution to the worth while project.
Fraternally, Bill Clinton Statue Committee
P.S. It is said that Bill Clinton is considering changing the Democratic Party emblem from a donkey to a condom, because it stands for inflation, halts productivity, covers up a bunch of pricks, and it gives a false sense of security.