Obama Time

Michelle Obama dies and goes to heaven, and she's in the waiting room to see Jesus.
There are clocks everywhere, not a single square inch of wall or ceiling doesn't have a timepiece. Some of them don't seem to be moving. St. Peter comes out and calls her name.
"I'm here" she says. "What's with all the clocks?".
St. Peter says "Everyone who has ever lived has a clock here. Every time they tell a lie, their clock moves forward by one minute. This is George Washington's clock. As you can see, it's one past midnight, so he only told one lie."
"Oh" Michelle said. "Where's my husband's clock?"
"That's in Jesus' office" St. Peter replies. "He uses that as a fan".

AOC Radio

Ocasio-Cortez purchased an AM radio so she could listen to political talk shows.
It took her two weeks to figure out that you could play it at night.
 

AOC Sunshine

As part of her 'Green New Deal', Congresswoman Ocasio-Cortez recently suggested that we should be harvesting more energy from the sun.  She proposed a fleet of conventional rockets loaded with special solar batteries that would travel to the Sun and collect energy. Scientists challenged her plan suggesting that the ships would burn-up before they even got close!"  Ocasio-Cortez responded, "DUH . . . Not if you go at night!"