Cool Bumper Stickers!

• A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
• Horn broken, watch for finger.
• My kid had sex with your honor student.
• If at first you don't succeed, try not to look astonished.
• I.R.S.: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.
• Jesus loves you... Everyone else thinks you're an asshole.
• I'm just driving this way to piss you off.
• Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.
• Keep honking, I'm reloading.
• Hang up and drive.
• Guns don't kill people, postal workers do.
• Ask me about microwaving cats for fun and profit.
• If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?
• Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
• I want to die in my sleep like my Grandfather did, not kicking and screaming like his passengers.
• I'm as confused as a baby in a topless bar.
• We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
• Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!
• Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
• I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing!
• He who laughs last thinks slowest!
• Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
• There's too much blood in my caffeine system.
• Assassins do it from behind.
• If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.
• Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
• I used to have a handle on life, then it broke.
• Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.
• I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
• Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
• Few women admit their age... few men act theirs.
• We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART?
• Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

On Time

My grandad lost a lung during the war.
That's why he was fired from his medical courier job.

10 Bumper Stickers

1. Ambivalent? Well yes and no....
2. Does your train of thought have a caboose?
3. Is it time for your medication or mine?
4. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted a paycheck
5. How do I set the laser printer to stun?
6. I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert....
7. Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
8. Don't bother me. I'm living happily ever after.
9. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
10. And your crybaby, whiny opinion would be ... ?