Jokes about Families

Family Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday.  People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.

Categories: Funny Thoughts , Holiday Jokes (Thanksgiving Jokes) , Jokes about Families
Submitted BY: Jonny Carson

You Might Be a Redneck 44

Your vehicle has a two-tone paint job, primer red and primer gray.
The tobacco chewers in your family aren't just men.
Your mom calls you over to help, cause she has a flat tire on her house.
The ASPCA raids your kitchen.
You have to check in the bottom of your shoe for change so you can get Grandma a new plug of tobacco.
You can't get married to your sweetheart because there is a law against it.
You celebrate Groundhog Day because you believe in it.
Your kid takes a siphon hose to show-and-tell.
You've been on TV more than 5 times describing the sound of a tornado.

Categories: Redneck Jokes (You Might Be a Redneck) , Jokes about Families (Mother Jokes) , Jokes about Families (Grandmother Jokes) , Dark Humor Jokes (Incest Jokes)
Anonymous

Teaching Moment

A man is driving his five-year-old to a friend’s house when another car races in front and cuts them off, nearly causing an accident. “Douche bag!” the father yells. A moment later he realizes the indiscretion, pulls over, and turns to face his son. “Your daddy just said a bad word,” he says. “I was angry at that driver, but that was no excuse for what I said. It was wrong. But just because I said it doesn’t make it right, and I don’t ever want to hear you saying it. Is that clear?” His son looks at him and says: “Too late, douche bag.”

Categories: Funny Thoughts , Jokes about Families (Father Jokes) , Jokes about Families (Son Jokes) , Insult Jokes (Stupid Insults)
Anonymous
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