Jokes about Families

New Words

A boy from France comes to America, he wants to learn some new words so he goes to the airport and learns "take off." Then he learns "zebra" from the zoo and "baby" from the hospital. Then he goes home and says, ''Mommy, I learned new words today.'' She says, "Great, honey what did you learn?" He says, ''Takeoffzebrababy!''

Categories: Funny Thoughts , Jokes about Families (Mother Jokes) , Jokes about Families (Son Jokes) , Sex Jokes (Private Parts) , Word Play Jokes
Anonymous

SuperPower

Q: If Batman, who is a regular human but with gadgets, teamed up with Superman, who has supernatural powers, and they fought against Iron Man, another regular human with gadgets, who teamed up with Thor, who has super powers, who would be the winners?
A: Your parents when you move out.

Categories: Riddles , Pop Culture / Celebrity Jokes , Jokes about Families (Son Jokes)
Anonymous

What my Mom taught me.

Things My Mom Taught Me ...
TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE -"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside - I just finished cleaning!"
RELIGION -"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
TIME TRAVEL:"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
LOGIC:"Because I said so, that's why."
FORESIGHT -"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
IRONY -"Keep laughing and I'll *give* you something to cry out."
OSMOSIS -"Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"
CONTORTIONISM -"Will you *look* at the dirt on the back of your neck!"
STAMINA -"You'll sit there 'til all that spinach is finished."
WEATHER -"It looks as if a tornado swept through your room."
PHYSICS PROBLEMS -"If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you; would you listen then?"
HYPOCRISY -"If I've told you once, I've told you a million times - don't exaggerate!!!"
THE CIRCLE OF LIFE -"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION -Stop acting like your father!"
ENVY -"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!"

Categories: Jokes about Families (Mother Jokes)
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Anonymous
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