Wise Lady

My grandma always told me "Never share needles"
She was very possessive when it came to knitting

Banana Truth

I told my daughter, "Did you know that humans eat more bananas than monkeys?" She rolled her eyes at me, but I continued. "It’s true!" "When was the last time you ate a monkey?!" 

Bragging Rights

"My brother likes to brag about the size of his penis which doesn't bother me, I just wish he wouldn't rub it in my face."