One Upmanship

Two kids were having the standard argument about whose father could beat up whose father.  One boy said, "My father is better than your father."  The other kid said, "Well, my mother is better than your mother."  The first boy paused and then replied, "I guess you're right.  My father says the same thing."

Brotherly Love

When I was a child I had a condition where I had to eat mud three times a day in order to survive.
I'm so lucky my older brother told me about it!

The Sweet Kiss

There was a couple involved in a very bad car accident. The wife's face was badly burned. The doctors said they could take the burnt skin and replace it with extra skin. The woman's husband gladly allowed the doctors to use some skin from his behind. The woman healed beautifully and ask her husband if there was anything she could do for him for being so nice to donate his skin. And the husband replied, "no need...I get all the satisfaction I could ever want each time your mother kisses you on the cheek!"