Mass Confusion

Q: What is the definition of mass confusion?
A: Father's day in Harlem!

One Upmanship

Two kids were having the standard argument about whose father could beat up whose father.  One boy said, "My father is better than your father."  The other kid said, "Well, my mother is better than your mother."  The first boy paused and then replied, "I guess you're right.  My father says the same thing."

Brotherly Love

When I was a child I had a condition where I had to eat mud three times a day in order to survive.
I'm so lucky my older brother told me about it!