So Fat After Thanksgiving

You'll be so fat after Thanksgiving you'll put mayonnaise on aspirin.

Top 10 Thanksgiving Comments

10. Reach in and grab the giblets.
9. Whew..... that's one terrific spread!
8. I'm in the mood for a little dark meat.
7. Tying the legs together will keep the inside moist.
6. Talk about a huge breast!
5. "And he forces his way into the end zone."
4. She's 5000 pounds fully inflated and it takes 15 minutes to hold her down.
3. It's cool whip time!
2. If I don't unbuckle my pants, I'm going to burst.
1. It must be broken 'cause when I push on the top, nothing squirts out.

Turkey Football

The pro football team had just finished their daily practice session when a large turkey came strutting onto the field.  While the players gazed in amazement, the turkey walked up to the head coach and demanded a tryout.  Everyone stared in silence as the turkey caught pass after pass and ran right through the defensive line.  When the turkey returned to the sidelines, the coach shouted, "You're terrific!!! Sign up for the season, and I'll see to it that you get a huge bonus."  "Forget the bonus," the turkey said, "All I want to know is, does the season go past Thanksgiving Day?"