Happy Thanksgiving

One Thanksgiving a friend and I were walking down a main street in Albany when a man comes up to me and gives me a turkey and says, "Happy Thanksgiving!" Without hesitation my friend knocks him out. I asked my friend why he punched the nice man. My friend said, "He gave you the bird!"

Black Friday Jungle

Q: What did Nala tell Simba after seeing a crowd of shoppers on Black Friday?
A: You gotta Mufasa
 

Thanksgiving Dishes

A priest was invited to Thanksgiving dinner by one of his parishioners. When he sat down at the table, he noticed that the dishes were the dirtiest that he had ever seen in his life. "Were these dishes ever washed?" he asked his hostess, running his fingers over the grit and grime. She replied, "Of course they were cleaned Father." "They're as clean as soap and water could get them." He felt a bit apprehensive, but blessed the turkey dinner anyway and they all started eating. The meal was delicious and he paid his compliments in spite the dirty dishes. When dinner was over, the hostess took the dishes outside and yelled, "Here Soap! Here Water!"