Holiday Jokes - Christmas Jokes

Christmas Party Warning

A warning to all you drivers, be careful about drunk driving as we're getting close to Christmas and Police are out there checking on people. Last night I was out for a few drinks. One thing lead to another and I had a few too many cocktails and then went onto the wine. Not a good idea. Knowing I was over the limit, I decided to leave my car at the pub and took a bus home. Sure enough, I passed a police checkpoint, where they were pulling over drivers and performing breathalyzer tests. Because I was in a Bus they just waved it past. I arrived home safely and without incident, which was a real surprise as I've never driven a bus before and I am not even sure where I got it from.

Anonymous

Believing in Santa

Christmas always sucked when I was a kid because I believed in Santa Clause. Unfortunately, so did my parents, so I never got anything!

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Submitted BY: Charlie Viracola

Good Reason

The angry wife met her husband at the door the morning after her husbands golfing Christmas party. His breath stunk of alcohol and his face was plastered with lipstick. "I assume," she barked, "There is a very good reason for you to come drifting in at six o'clock in the morning?" "There is!" he replied, "Breakfast."

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous
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