Thanksgiving Dishes

A priest was invited to Thanksgiving dinner by one of his parishioners. When he sat down at the table, he noticed that the dishes were the dirtiest that he had ever seen in his life. "Were these dishes ever washed?" he asked his hostess, running his fingers over the grit and grime. She replied, "Of course they were cleaned Father." "They're as clean as soap and water could get them." He felt a bit apprehensive, but blessed the turkey dinner anyway and they all started eating. The meal was delicious and he paid his compliments in spite the dirty dishes. When dinner was over, the hostess took the dishes outside and yelled, "Here Soap! Here Water!"

Knock-Knock America

Q: Why aren't there any knock-knock jokes about America?
A: Because Freedom RINGS

Mama About Christmas

My mama was so cheap, she waited 'til after Christmas. 'Baby, Santa Claus missed our house. I called him, and he coming back tomorrow.' She was waiting for the stuff to go on sale.