Worst Christmas

Q: What's the worst thing to get for Christmas?
A: Measles!

Reindeer In A Bar

One evening, in a busy lounge in the deep south, a deer walked in the door, bellied up to the bar and ordered a martini. Without batting an eye, the bartender mixed and poured the drink, set it in front of the reindeer, and accepted the twenty-dollar bill from the reindeer's hoof. As he handed the reindeer some coins in change, he said, "You know, I think you're the first reindeer I've ever seen in here." The reindeer looked hard at the hoof-full of change and said, "Hmmmp. Let me tell you something, buddy. At these prices, I'm the last reindeer you'll see in here."

Vampire After the Dentist

Q: What did the vampire say after he had been to the dentist?
A: Fangs very much!