Old Pilgrims

Q: If the Pilgrims were alive today, what would they be most famous for?
A: Their age!

iSwat

I was visiting my son and daughter-in-law last night when I asked if I could borrow a newspaper. "This is the 21st century, old man," he said. "We don’t waste money on newspapers. Here, you can borrow my iPad."
I can tell you, that fly never knew what hit it…

Influenced Decision

After drinking too much at the holiday party I stopped at a temporary tattoo parlour to get a tattoo.
After it wouldn't wash off this morning I went back to complain, but the tattoo parlour wasn't there.