I'd Love To But... (Pt III)

More goofy excuses you can use to get out of going somewhere you just don't wanna go to. I'D LOVE TO BUT:

• I have to go to court for kitty littering.
• I have to jog my memory.
• I have to knit some dust bunnies for a charity bazaar.
• I have to rotate my crops.
• I have to sit up with a sick ant.
• I have to stay home and see if I snore.
• I have to study for a blood test.
• I have to thaw some karate chops for dinner.
• I prefer to remain an enigma.
• I think you want the OTHER (fill in your name here).
• I'm going to be old someday.
• I'm going to count the bristles in my toothbrush.
• I'm going to the Missing Persons Bureau to see if anyone is looking for me.
• I'm having my baby shoes bronzed.
• I'm trying to cut down.
• I'm up to my eardrums in waxy buildup.
• I've been traded to Cincinnati.
• My Dress For Obscurity class meets then.
• Mmy favorite commercial is on TV.
• My uncle escaped... again.
• Oooo, having fun gives me prickly heat.

A Captain's Red Shirt

The first mate asks the ship captain why he always wears a red shirt to fight off pirates. The captain replies, "It keeps the men brave. If I get wounded, you won't see the blood, and you'll keep on fighting." The next day, a fleet of pirate ships appear on the horizon. The first mate says, "Get me my brown pants!"

Night Time

If you need a timepiece when it gets dark, come and see me.
I'm the night watch man.