English language

The English Language
Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?  Let's face it, English is a stupid language.There is no egg in the eggplant, No ham in the hamburger, and neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England, French fries were not invented in France.  We sometimes take English for granted, but if we examine its paradoxes we find that Quicksand takes you down slowly.  Boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
If writers write, how come fingers don't fing. If the plural of tooth is teeth, shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth?  If the teacher taught, why didn't the preacher praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what the heck does a humanitarian eat!?  Why do people recite at a play, yet play at a recital?  Park on driveways and drive on parkways. 
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy  of a language where a house can burn up as it burns down and in which you fill in a form by filling it out and a bell is only heard once it goes!  English was invented by people, not computers and it reflects the creativity of the human race (Which of course isn't a race at all) That is why when the stars are out they are visible but when the lights are out they are invisible and why it is that when I wind up my watch it starts but when I wind up this observation, It ends.

Facts of Life

• Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes, there's too much fraternizing with the enemy.
• There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot.
• Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives.
• Don't worry about the world ending today...It's already tomorrow in Australia. (unless you're in Australia -then start worrying)
• Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
• Character is what you are. Reputation is what people think you are.
• Drive carefully, It's not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.
• A loser is a window washer on the 44th floor who steps back to admire his work.
• A man usually feels better after a few winks, especially if she winks back.
• Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
• The facts, although interesting, are irrelevant.
• There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
• A man who says marriage is a 50-50 proposition doesn't understand two things: 1 - Women, 2 - Fractions.

Unwanted Guest

Went to a Halloween party dressed as Covid.
It got a bit boring, so I suggested a game of tag, but nobody wanted to catch me.