Stomach Pains

An extremely obese man with severe stomach pains goes to see a doctor. He can hardly stand, the pain is so bad. After an examination, the doctor is holding the x-rays and asks, "Did you at one time swallow a bullet?" The man answers, "Swallow a bullet? Of course not!" The doctor replies, "Well then, I'm afraid you've been shot!"

Six And Five

Q: What has six boobs and five teeth?
A: The night shift at Waffle House.

Blonde Puzzle

Two young blondes are sitting at a table in a coffee shop in such an obviously celebratory mood that a man drifts over intending to offer to buy them drinks. When he gets close he hears one say to the other "Here's to 17 days!" Smiling, the man says, "Congratulations! What's so special about 17 days?" The blondes' eyes twinkling, one of the happy to explains, "Well, we've been spending our evenings working on a jigsaw puzzle! And it said 3-5 years on the box, but we finished it in only 17 days!"