Mommy Mommy Cannibal

• Mommy, Mommy! What happened to all that dog food Fido wouldn't eat? Shut up and eat your meat loaf.
• Mommy, Mommy! When are we going to have Aunt Edna for dinner? Shut up, we haven't even finished your Grandmother yet.
• Mommy, Mommy! I hate my sister's guts. Shut up and eat what's put in front of you.
• Mommy, Mommy! What is a deliquent child? Shut up, light your cigarette, drink your whisky and deal those cards.
• Mommy, Mommy! What is a deliquent child? Shut up and pass me the crowbar. 

Witch Cuisine

Q: Why do some witches eat raw meat?
A: Because they don't know how to cook!

Cannibal Food

Two cannibals meet one day. The first cannibal says, "You know, I just can't seem to get a tender missionary. I've baked 'em, I've roasted 'em, I've stewed 'em, I've barbequed 'em, I've even tried every sort of marinade. I just cannot seem to get them tender." The second cannibal asks, "What kind of missionary do you use?" The other replied, "You know, the ones that hang out at that place at the bend of the river. They have those brown cloaks with a rope around the waist and their sort of bald on top with a funny ring of hair on their heads." "Ah ha!" he replies. "No wonder.. those are friars!"