Twice Last Week

Mommy mommy can I play with grandma?
Shut up kid, you dug her up twice last week!

Hip To The Times

The teenage granddaughter comes downstairs for her date with this see-through blouse on and no bra. Her grandmother just has a fit, telling her not to dare go out like that. The teenager tells her "Loosen up Grams. These are modern times. You gotta let your rosebuds show!" and out she goes. The next day the teenager comes downstairs, and the grandmother is sitting there with no top on. The teenager wants to die. She explains to her grandmother that she has friends coming over and that it is just not appropriate. "Loosen up, sweetie. If you can show off your rosebuds, then I can display my hanging baskets."

What Not To Say At A Funeral

What Not To Say At A Funeral

• I'm not convinced. I'm going to go give her a good shaking?
• I'm sure we'll all be laughing about this in no time!
• It's funny, we all thought you'd be the first to go, Grandpa.
• You know, your husband never paid back that $50 he owed