Kissing Grandma

Q: What's the worst thing about having to kiss Grandma?
A: When the damn coffin lid falls and hits you in the head.

Viagra Verdict

Grandma and Grandpa were visiting their kids overnight. When Grandpa found a bottle of Viagra in his son's medicine cabinet, he asked about using one of the pills. The son said, "I don't think you should take one Dad, they're very strong and very expensive." "How much?" asked Grandpa. "$10.00 a pill," answered the son. "I don't care," said Grandpa, "I'd still like to try one, and before we leave in the morning, I'll put the money under the pillow." Later the next morning, the son found $110 under the pillow. He called Grandpa and said, "I told you each pill was $10, not $110. "I know," said Grandpa. "The hundred is from Grandma!"

Life After Death

"Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his employees. "Yes, Sir," the new recruit replied. "Well, then, that makes everything just fine," the boss went on. "After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother's funeral, she stopped in to see you."