Irish Nuns

A car full of Irish nuns is sitting at traffic lights, when a bunch of rowdy drunks pulls up alongside of them. "Hey, show us your tits, yer bloody penguins!" shouts one of the drunks.
Quite shocked, Mother Superior turns to Sister Immaculata, "I don't think they know who we are, show them your cross." Sister Immaculata rolls down her window and shouts, "Screw off yer bloody little wankers, before I come over there and rip yer balls off!"
Sister Immaculata looks back at Mother Superior, quite innocently, and asks, "Was that cross enough?"

Irish Abortion Clinics

Q: Did you hear about the Irish abortion clinic?
A: It has a 12 month waiting list.

Farm Fugitives

A Welshman, an Englishman and a Irishman were being chased by Farmer Giles with a shotgun. After 10 minutes of running they spotted a barn and ran inside. Once inside they each hid in a old sack against the barn wall. The farmer went into the barn but did not see where they went, he was about to turn back when he saw three suspicious looking sacks. He walked forward and prodded the first sack with his gun. The Englishman inside said... "Meow". "Just a cat," he thought.
He then prodded the second sack. The Welshman, hearing how the Englishman got off said... "Woof". "Just a dog," he thought. As he walked towards the last sack, the Irishman worked out what he was going to say. As soon as the farmer prodded his sack he said... "Potatoes!"