Irish Test Tube Baby

A man walked into a bar and says, "my daughter just had the first Irish test tube baby." He says, "it was a girl and she was conceived in a bottle of Guinness."
The bartender says, "what does the baby look like?"
The man says, "she is dark, thin, and has a good head on her!"

53,000 Irishman

53,000 Irishmen meet for the 'Irish Are Not Stupid' convention.

Paddy Mcloughlin addresses the crowd.. 
'We are all here today to prove to the world that the Irish are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer please?'
Mick O'Rourke gingerly works his way through the crowd and steps up to the stage.
Paddy asks him 'What is 15 plus 15?'
After 15 or 20 seconds Mick says, 'Forty!'

Obviously everyone is a little disappointed. Then the Irishmen start chanting 'Give him another chance! Give him another chance!'
Paddy says, 'Well since we have a capacity crowd, world-wide press and global broadcast media here,
I think we can give him another chance.'
So he asks, 'What is 5 plus 5?'
After nearly 30 seconds he eventually says, ' Twelve?'

Paddy looks down and just lets out a dejected sigh.
Everyone is disheartened and Mick starts crying.
But then the 53,000 Irishmen begin to yell and wave their hands shouting, 'Give him another chance! Give him another chance!'
Paddy, unsure whether he is now doing more harm than good eventually says, 'OK then, what is 2 plus 2?'
Silence hangs over the stadium.
Mick closes his eyes, and after a whole minute eventually says, 'Four?'

Pandemonium breaks out throughout the stadium as the Irish crowd stand to a man, wave their arms, stomp their feet and scream,
'Give him another chance! Give him another chance! 

The Irish Newlyweds

Did you hear about the Irish newlyweds who sat up all night on their honeymoon waiting for their sexual relations to arrive?