Irish Starch

Q: How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irish man?
A: None.

Irish Spring

Q: What's Irish and comes out in the spring?
A: Paddy O'Furniture!

Paddy and Shaun

It's Christmas time and Paddy and Shaun decided to go look for a Christmas Tree. They gathered their axe, a sled, and a broom to brush the trees off so they can get a good look at them. When they finally reach a fine stand of trees, Shaun brushes off the first tree, and stands back with Paddy to look at it. "Well, Paddy, What do you think?"  "Sorry, Shaun, this tree won't do. Let's try another one."  They come upon another nice tree, Shaun brushes it off, and they both look at it.  "How about this one, Paddy?"  "Not quite, Shaun. Let's keep looking." This goes on until nightfall.  Both Paddy and Shaun are cold, tired, and hungry. "Well, Paddy, what do we do now?"  "Shaun, I think we should take home the next tree we find, whether it has lights on it or not...!"