Ethnic / Country Jokes - Irish Jokes

My Car Is Shtolen!

An Irishman walks out of a pub, stumbling back and forth with a key in his hand. A cop on the beat sees him and approaches, "Can I help you lad?" "Yesh, Shombody shtole me car!", the Irishman replies. The cop asks, "Well now, where was your car last time you saw it?" "It was at the end of this key." About this time the cop looks down to see that the Irishman's member is being exhibited for all to see. He then asks, "Are you aware that you are exposing yourself?" The Irishman looks down woefully and moans "OOH GOD... they got me girl too!"

Categories: Ethnic / Country Jokes (Irish Jokes) , Sexist Jokes (About Women) , Sex Jokes (Private Parts) , Alcohol Jokes (Beer Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Irish Sinner

Murphy showed up at Mass one Sunday and the priest almost fell down when he saw him. He'd never been to church in his life. After Mass, the priest caught up with him and said, "Murphy, I am so glad ya decided to come to Mass. What made ya come?" Murphy said, "I got to be honest with you Father, a while back, I misplaced me hat and I really, really love that hat. I know that McGlynn had a hat just like mine and I knew he came to church every Sunday. I also knew that he had to take off his hat during Mass and figured he would leave it in the back of church. So, I was going to leave after Communion and steal McGlynn's hat." The priest said, "Well, Murphy, I notice that ya didn't steal McGlynn's hat. What changed your mind?"
Murphy replied, "Well, after I heard your sermon on the 10 Commandments, I decided that I didn't need to steal McGlynn's hat after all." With a tear in his eye the priest gave Murphy a big smile and said; "After I talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Steal' ya decided you would rather do without your hat than burn in Hell?" Murphy slowly shook his head. "No, Father, after ya talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery' I remembered where I left me hat.

Categories: Funny Thoughts , Ethnic / Country Jokes (Irish Jokes) , Religion Jokes (Nun / Priest Jokes) , Religion Jokes (Catholic Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Cheater Jokes)
Anonymous

Hybrid Clover

Q: What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a four-leaf clover?
A: A rash of good luck.

Categories: Funny Thoughts , Word Play Jokes , Riddles (Riddles for Kids) , Ethnic / Country Jokes (Irish Jokes) , Holiday Jokes (St. Patrick's Day Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous
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