Reasons to Live on Prince Edward Island

1. Even though more people live on Vancouver Island, you still got the big-ass bridge.
2. You can walk across the province in half an hour.
3. You were probably once an extra on ''Road to Avonlea.''
4. This is where all those tiny red potatoes come from.
5. The economy is based on fish, potatoes, and CBC TV shows.
6. Tourists arrive, see the ''Anne of Green Gables'' house, then promptly leave.
7. You can drive across the the province in two minutes.
8. It doesn't matter to you if Quebec separates.
9. You don't share a border with the Americans, or with anyone for that matter.
10. You can confuse ships by turning your porch lights on and off at night.

Chinese Subtitles

A list of English subtitles used in films made in Hong Kong.

• "I am damn unsatisfied to be killed in this way."
• "Fatty, you with your thick face have hurt my instep."
• "Gun wounds again?"
• "Same old rules: no eyes, no groin."
• "A normal person wouldn't steal pituitaries."
• Damn, I'll burn you into a BBQ chicken!"
• "Take my advice, or I'll spank you without pants."
• "Who gave you the nerve to get killed here?"
• "Quiet or I'll blow your throat up."
• "You always use violence. I should have ordered glutinous rice chicken."
• "I'll fire aimlessly if you don't come out!"
• "You daring lousy guy."
• "Beat him out of recognizable shape!"
• "I have been scared shitless too much lately."
• "I got knife scars more than the number of your leg's hair!"
• "Beware! Your bones are going to be disconnected."
• "How can you use my intestines as a gift?"
• "The bullets inside are very hot. Why do I feel so cold?"

Arabs vs. Jews

Two Arabs boarded a shuttle out of Washington for New York. One sat in the window seat, the other in the middle seat. Just before take-off a fat, little Jewish guy got on and took the aisle seat next to the Arabs. He kicked off his shoes, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Arab in the window seat said, "I think I'll go up and get a coke." (Shuttle flights do not have cabin attendants, but you probably knew that.) "No problem," said the Jew. "I'll get it for you." While he was gone the Arab picked up the Jew's shoe and spit in it. The Jew brought back the coke, when the other Arab said, "That looks good. Think I'll have one too." Again, the Jew obligingly goes to fetch it, and while he is gone the Arab picks up the other shoe and spits in it. The Jew returns with the coke, and they all sit back and enjoy the short flight.
When the plane was landing the Jew slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened. "How long must this go on?" he asked. "This enmity between our peoples ... this hatred ... this spitting in shoes and peeing in cokes!?!"