Bragging Mothers

Once there were 3 Chinese mothers in a church. They always liked to compete with their sons. First mother: My son is a priest. Whenever people see him they say, "Oh my priest!" Second mother: Oh yeah, my son is a bishop. Whenever they see him they say, "Oh my bishop!" Third mother: (after thinking a bit) Well my son is a fat, lazy pig and whenever people see my son they say, "Oh my God!"

Over Easy

My French girlfriend asked me if I wanted her to make me breakfast.
I said "No thanks, I've had an oeuf"

Post Putin Ukraine

Q: What did the Ukrainian people light their houses with before they started using candles?
A: Electricity.