Russian Leaders

Q: How many Russian leaders does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Nobody knows. Russian leaders don't last as long as light bulbs.

Aussies and Kiwi

Q: Why are Australians like kiwifruit?
A: Because they are rough on the outside, green on the inside and too many of them will give you the shits!

Missionary's Lessons

A missionary has spent years teaching agriculture and "civilization" to some people in a distant land. One day, he wants to start teaching them English. So he takes the leader and points at a tree. "Tree." "Tree." He points to a rock. "Rock." "Rock." All of a sudden, they come upon two people having sex in the bushes. Embarrassed, the missionary blurts out that they are "riding a bike." Then the leader pulls out his blow gun and shoots the two people. "What!" yells the missionary. "I've spent all this time civilizing you, and you turn around and do this!" "My bike!"