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Drug Jokes
St. Patrick's Day Parade
Hoffman and Puscas are bombed, watching the St. Patrick's Day Parade, when one of them drops his lit cigarette into a damp mattress that's been left out on the sidewalk. The mattress starts to smoulder just as the blue-hair brigade, the Ladies' Auxiliary, is passing by. Hoffman takes a whiff, turns to Puscas, and says, "Man... you think maybe they're marching these ladies too fast?"
Categories:
Holiday Jokes
(St. Patrick's Day Jokes)
, Relationship Jokes
(Man Criticizes Woman)
, Drug Jokes
, Ethnic / Country Jokes
(Irish Jokes)
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Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous
Yo Mama - Marijuana
Yo' Mama is like marijuana -- everyone does her, but no one admits it.
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Anonymous
Addiction Quips
Can any of you relate to these "addiction" quips?
- The last time you looked at the clock it was 11:30pm, and in what seems like only a few seconds later, your little sister runs past you to catch her 7am school bus.
- The remote to the T.V. is missing...and you don't even care.
- You begin to wonder how your ISP can call 400 hours per month "unlimited!"
- You ask a plumber if he could replace the chair in front of your computer with a toilet.
- The last girl you picked up was a 800x66 jpeg.
- You never have to deal with busy signals when calling your ISP ...because you never log off!
- Your wife makes a new rule: "The computer cannot come to bed with us."
- You tell the kids they can't use the computer because "Daddy's got work to do" and you don't even have a job.
- You scan restroom stalls for hot HTML addresses.
- You have commandeered your teenager's phone line for the net and even his friends know not to call on his line anymore.
- You check your email. It says "no new messages." So you check it again...and again...and again...
- You suddenly realize there is not a sound in the house, and you have no clue where your children are.
- Your dog has its own home page.
- You step out of your room and realize that your parents have moved and you don't have a clue when it happened.
- You refuse to go to a vacation spot with no electricity and no phone lines.
- Your bookmark list takes 15 minutes to scroll from top to bottom.
- You're surprised to learn there's also a 2 o'clock in the "afternoon."
- You unsuccessfully try to download pizza from www.dominos.com.
- Your mouse-clicking forearm rivals Popeye's.
- Batteries in the TV remote now last for years.
- Your wife drapes a blond wig over your monitor to remind you of what she looks like.
Categories:
Drug Jokes
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Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous