Top 10 Colonoscopy Jokes

1. 'Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!'
2. 'Find Amelia Earhart yet?'
3. 'You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married.'
4. 'Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?'
5. 'You put your left hand in; you take your left hand out...'
6. 'Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!'
7. 'If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!'
8. 'Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity.
9. 'God, now I know why I am not gay.'
10. 'Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?'

Medical Miracles

There's more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040 there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs, huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

Spooky Love

There is an old colonial cemetery where the grave markers are flat.  A man and woman sneak in there one night after a Halloween party to make love.  The next day the woman is complaining of a terrible back ache, so she goes to see her doctor.  The doctor asks her to put on a gown and examines her back but finds nothing wrong.  He asks her how old she is, and she says 28.  The doctor says that's interesting because it says on your ass that you died in 1784.