Disease / Afflictions Jokes

The best collection of disease and medical affliction jokes will have you laughing till you cry! Humor can help you through tough times and these jokes are the Rx you need. From Alzheimer's to Coronavirus, JokerZ is the place to find disease jokes.

Stuck Microphone

The huge Air Canada Jumbo jet is just coming into Pearson Airport (Toronto) on its final approach. The pilot comes on over the intercom. "This is Capt. Johnson, we're on our final descent into Toronto. I want to thank you for flying with us today and enjoy your stay in Toronto".
Well the Capt. forgets to switch off the intercom. The whole plane can now hear the conversation from the cockpit. The co-pilot says to the pilot, "Well skipper, wotcha gonna do in Toronto?"
Now all ears in the plan are listening in to this conversation. "Well", says the skipper, "First I'm gonna check into the hotel and go for a mega-huge dump. Then I'm gonna take that new stewardess out for supper, you know, the one with the huge tits. I'm gonna wine and dine her, take her back to my room and slip the old salami to her all night".
Well, everyone in the planes trying to get a look at the new stewardess. She's so embarrassed she runs from the back of the plane to try and get to the cockpit to get the intercom off. Half way down, she trips over an old ladies handbag - ***splat *** and down she goes. The old lady leans over and says, "No need to run dearie, he's got to go for a shit first!"

Categories: Airplane Jokes (Take-off / Landing Jokes) , Profession Jokes (Flight Attendant Jokes) , Profession Jokes (Pilot Jokes) , Sex Jokes (One Night Stand Jokes) , Disease / Afflictions Jokes (Fart Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Heart Attack

A man comes home and hears hard breathing and female noises from inside the apartment.  He walks inside to find his wife on the floor of the living room naked. His wife yells, "Help, help, I am having a heart attack!"
The husband runs in the other room to call the doctor when one of his kids run up to him and says, "Daddy, daddy, there is a naked man in the closet."
Husband opens the closet door and sees his friend Bob. He yells at Bob, "Bob, god damn it, my wife is having a heart attack and here you are trying to scare the kids!!!"

Categories: Disease / Afflictions Jokes , Dark Humor Jokes (Death Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Cheater Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Helper Virus

Q: Why did the Coronavirus cross the street?
A: To help seniors get to the other side

Categories: Dark Humor Jokes (Death Jokes) , Disease / Afflictions Jokes (Coronavirus Jokes)
Anonymous
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