Dark Humor Jokes - Death Jokes

Air Trouble

"This is Captain Sinclair speaking. On behalf of my crew I'd like to welcome you aboard British Airways flight 602 from New York to London. We're currently flying at an altitude of 35,000 feet midway across the Atlantic. If you look out of the windows on the starboard side of the aircraft, you will observe that both the starboard engines are on fire. If you look out of the windows on the port side, you will observe that the port engines have fallen off. If you look down towards the Atlantic ocean, you will see a little yellow life raft with three people in it waving at you. That's me your captain, the co-pilot, and our flight attendant. This is a recorded message. Have a good flight!"

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Die Peacefully

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Turkey Shoping

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family.
She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous
Trackuser=No (Robot detected) |IsRobot=Yes |

Page rendered in 0.2175 seconds