Christmas Plot

One year, a husband gets his mother-in-law a cemetery plot for Christmas. It came with a coffin, tomb stone, the works. The next Christmas comes around and the husband gets her nothing. When the mother-in-law asks, "Why didn't you get me a gift?" the husband replies, "You haven't used the one I got you last year!"

Cramming

"Why do you keep reading the Bible everyday?" the teenage girl asked her grandfather. "Well, it's a bit like cramming for your final exam," said Grandpa.

Tombstone Epitaph V

Tombstone Epitaph in Memory of an accident in a Uniontown, Pennsylvania cemetery: Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake. Stepped on the gas Instead of the brake.