Dark Humor Jokes - Death Jokes

Wordplay - Crushed

A man died in his home when a pile of books fell on him.
Police say he had only his shelf to blame.

Anonymous

Perfect Unison

Q: How do you get two bagpipes to play a perfect unison?
A: Shoot one.

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Anonymous

Carrie Fisher

Carrie Fisher is in heaven and she goes into God's office. "I've been up here for a few days, and I don't have a halo yet. George Michael has one, why don't I?"
God explains that there is a back order, but since he loved her in "Star Wars" he will bump her on the list.
So she gets her halo and she's happy for a few days. Then goes back into God's office angry as hell.
"You know, I ran into Dale Earnhardt today. Nice guy, but his halo is 3 times the size if mine. I was Princess Leia, and all he did was drive a car and turn left."
God interrupts her and tells her "That's not a halo it's a steering wheel."

Anonymous
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